"Yes" = No
"No" = Yes
"Maybe" = No
"I'm sorry" = You'll be sorry
"We need" = I want
"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now
"Sure... go ahead"= I don't want you to
"I'm not upset"= Of course I'm upset, you moron!
"We need to talk"= I need to complain
"You're certainly attentive tonight"= Is sex all you ever think about?
"Be romantic, turn out the lights"= I have flabby thighs
"This kitchen is so inconvenient"= I want a new house
"I want new curtains"= and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...
"I heard a noise"= I noticed you were almost asleep
"Do you love me?"= I'm going to ask for something expensive
"How much do you love me?"= I did something today you're really not going to like
"I'll be ready in a minute"= Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
"Is my butt fat?"= Lie to me
"You have to learn to communicate"= Just agree with me
"Are you listening to me!?"= [Too late, you're dead]
"Do what you want."= You'll pay for this later
It is pertinert, right?
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